hey sweet friends.

Happy Tuesday, right?! What a week it’s been so far… Two days in and there are so many good and bad things that have happened… I pray the rest of the week just gets better. I’m taking the negative and letting the positive overpower it. That’s how it should always be right?! Not always the easiest, but if you pray about it, I PROMISE it makes it so much better. Mama always told me to tell God my problems. “Just pray about it Lacey. God hears you.” Well, my mother is a smart woman.

I haven’t always been the best at praying, by myself, out loud, or even in a crowd. It’s something I think we all find ourselves working on at some point. I’m sure even our preachers get nervous sometimes… But it doesn’t matter how good you are, if you have all the right words, or even if it’s 4 minutes long. God hears you. He already knows your thoughts. God loves to hear you pray to him. Praying honors him. We talk to him and he hears our hearts. He will listen. Have you ever just sit in your room with no distractions and shit your eyes and just prayed out loud? The feeling you get when you ask God to forgive you, take all your stress away, or even rejoice him. It’s like a huge weight has been lifted. He may not answer our prayers that instant or even that month, but I promise you, he’s working on it. You know that “plan” that he has for us, yeah, in HIS time, he will allow it to happen. Whether it be good or bad, he has a plan… It may not be what we want or we may not understand but if we just glorify him in any situation, he will take care of us. He has wrapped his arms around me an insane amount these past couple weeks…and as crazy as it sounds, I’ve felt him. Why? Because I’ve prayed more than I have in a VERY long time. I’ve talked to him about praises and sadness.

As you all know, I’ve been living on my own for about 4 months now. Best decision ever…but I didn’t think it would be so hard to adjust to. I knew it would be completely different but I didn’t know the extent of all these emotions I’d be going through. My family has been absolutely extra wonderful to make sure that I’m safe, not forgotten about, & taken care of still. I am SO BLESSED. But with that said… I have never been so lonely and scared in my entire life. Living at home, knowing someone was always there or around, just made me feel safe. I was never scared to stay home by myself and I never had to worry about anything. Reality check here. I’ve recently had someone knocking on my door at 12:30/1 am on a Friday night…not once but twice. Won’t go into detail because it freaks me out just thinking about it, but needless to say, I don’t know the man… I just want him to know that he has made me more scared than I have ever been in my entire life. I hate being here at night by myself, hate feeling unsafe, and I can’t sleep for the life of me. I feel violated in a way. It sucks. It’s been awful. But… As mad as I am at him…whoever he is… I have come to realize… I have no control. Why is he doing this? No idea. What does he want? Not a clue. I just want it to stop. This has bothered me so much since the first time it happened…& after it happened this weekend… I about lost it. So instead of holding a grudge at all the people who think I’m making this up & who don’t believe me…  I’m praying for you.. It hurts more that someone I would go to that should care about me, doesn’t. I’m also praying that God will allow all these horrible scenarios and bad dreams to disappear. I’m praying he will take all the bad vibes away and that he will wrap his arms around me to let me know I am safe. He’s got me. I am his and he won’t let anyone hurt me…(neither will my parents.)

Praying helps me get over these fears. My stress. My problems. Praying is everything. Even if it’s like “God, I’m so thankful for waking up to see another day…I’m thankful for this cute apartment that you helped me get and a great job that you’ve blessed me with. But can you please help me take away all this stress that’s been heavy on my heart…and all this fear I have at night. Can you please keep my family and friends safe…& give extra love to those who are sick… Thank you God for all you’ve done for me and will continue to do. Amen.” Simple but yet he heard. It just makes me feel better. So much better.

There are so many things I want to thank my mama for, but the one thing I hope she always knows is that I’m thankful she’s always taught me who the Lord is. She’s told me that I just give it to him, he will listen. He will guide me in the right direction. Even when I fail EVERY. SINGLE. DAY… God doesn’t give up on me. Like 1000 other people who have come into my life and walked out on me, GOD hasn’t left me. Which leads me to tell you about THREE blessings I have received this week. Remember above when I said how I’m gonna let the good overpower the bad… Well, this is why…because blessings are so much more enjoyable than dwelling on the ugly. Are you ready to see how good our God is!? 🙂

I’ve been into a guy on and off for a while now…we’ve hung out a few times and even in the back of my mind I knew he wasn’t good for a girl like me.. Is he a bad guy?! No. Just NOT what I have pictured for my future or have even prayed about. When you meet someone & they are the one, you just know… Unfortunately I haven’t met “him” yet but I have met A LOT of no good, sorry, not for me, daddy wouldn’t approve kinda guys. I think we all go through some of those before we find our prince. But even though I knew he wasn’t really what I wanted…I was settling. I was pushing God aside  and making myself believe he was good for me. He wasn’t ever mean or ugly to me…but in my heart I knew he probably wasn’t the one. (My first mistake!). I ignored what I wanted, what I’ve prayed for my whole life, & what God was telling me when I would see him or talk to him. I just wanted the attention. Someone to spoil me. Someone to take my time. As I quickly realized after praying about it and telling God “Okay God I’m yours. I’m listening and never going to just settle again. I’m never gonna downgrade myself for someone who I know is no good for someone like me. I’m patiently waiting on you God. When you’re ready to send him to me, I’ll be there with open arms. I can’t wait! I just need a sign. What do I need to do!?!” This guy checks up on me on Facebook but never says anything.. So I had posted this picture on Facebook because it was heavy on my heart. I loved it.

Now… Granted…I had text him sometime before this post but he never replied… & I wasn’t sure why..not out of the ordinary because he does that from time to time, only to make me believe it was okay, so I tried not to think twice about it, but I wanted an answer. Even though I really liked him…. I felt like it was alright to be ignored…When I text him I asked “Why don’t you talk to me unless it’s on your time?” (It had been a few days with no communication.) and ya’ll he didn’t reply until today. Yeah sure we get busy…but I just believe he did it to frustrate me, leave me hanging..or maybe he didn’t like me as much or know what to say.. Whatever it was I am FOREVER grateful he did reply.. But remember I asked this before this picture was posted… Before I even saw this picture…Want to know his response today?! “Because I’m not a Godly man. I’m not the kind of guy you talk about wanting….Bye Lacey.”  UMMM… What just happened?! DID GOD ANSWER MY PRAYER?! Did he send me a sign!!!?? PRAISE THE LORD! 🙏🏼👏🏼 God heard me! What a blessing to know I won’t be pouring my feelings into someone who I thought was a Christian man… No more wasted time here! God is good!

Blessing number two. I’ve been following, creeping, & keeping up with this girl I know of on social media. She’s ADORABLE! I LOVE her post, her genuine heart, & sweet spirit. We’ve never met but somehow when you’re friends with someone on Facebook and on IG, you seem to know them and their whole life. That’s just how social media works, right?! Haha. She has been posting some goood stuff about becoming healthier, having quiet time with God, & just being a better person inside and out. She had said she had lost weight by eating healthy (something we all hate haha) & I was like “girl tell me your secret!” So she messaged me. She didn’t have to but did. She just told me what she was doing and it all led into talking about our faith and what we were doing to grow that way. Let me just tell you…. SHE’S SUCH A BLESSING. Oh my gosh! In less than 24 hours we have talked and gotten to know each other more. She has sent me her daily devotional and inspiring words, which I’m sure she will continue to do! She has lifted me up so much. I hope we can continue to grow and get to know each other. Whether she likes it or not, we’re already sisters. I believe God sent me her because I have prayed about “not fitting in” & “not having any Godly single friends” that I can really connect with… All my friends are married, have boyfriends, and or babies! I love them just as much, but sometimes it’s just different to have someone that’s in the same shoes you’re in.

\\And to my best friend, Cheyenne, I’m so forever grateful for you, even though we can’t stand each other at times, I still love you! I’m ready to grow in our faith and have prettier hearts–together!\\

I truly believe God sends us people and places them in our life at the right moment, when we least expect it. Whether it be good or bad, they stay or walk out, it’s always a lesson learned.

Number 3.

Ever gotten advice from someone younger and thought “Why didn’t I think of that?!” Yeah that happened last night & it’s been heavy on my heart. Remember me saying I struggle with having a hard time fitting in?! Well.. My 16 year old sister is smart. She’s such an inspiration, sometimes a brat, but for sure a young lady who is my better half. We don’t talk much because well like most sisters, we can’t get along for more than an hour, we disagree, & we live seperate lives with 8 1/2 years between us. But as I’m older and she’s growing up, things are MUCH better! 👏🏼 Last night as I was crying myself to sleep and prayed that God would just take care of me and all my problems, I sent her a text and told her how much I loved her. We had a short sisterly conversation and let me tell you… She tugged at my heart. She told me that we shouldn’t and weren’t made to “fit in.” We were called to “stand out, to let Gods love and mercy shine through us.” To let people see that God lives in us. After she said that, it hit me. She’s right.. (Told you she was smart!) I’ve been soooooo worried with fitting in with the crowd & worried about people not liking me….that I haven’t seen it that way. Who cares if someone likes me… Yeah, so I’m not like every 25 year old my age, & my life isn’t where I thought it would be, but dang, I’m slowly realizing how important it is to love yourself and let everyone see God through you. So….thank you sister for knocking some sense into me! I knew God was good. It took one “I love you” to learn and grasp something new.

 

So guys, when you feel like the WHOLE world is out to get you, you have a horrible day, you spill coffee on your white shirt and you’re already late for work, you are so scared….or when God places people in your path when you don’t see it coming, blesses you with something you really needed, or you simply survive a Monday with out any problems… PRAY AND PRAISE GOD! He listens and hears! He loves you!

 

Have a good rest of the week! 💋💗

Xoxo!